The Beginning
by ravens rising
Summary: Sogyo no Kotowari whispered nervously in the back of his mind, wordless murmurings that betrayed their host’s fear. contains slight Shunsui/Ukitake


Title: The Beginning  
Rating: PG  
Word Count: 1,011  
Characters: Ukitake, Shunsui, Yamamoto, Aizen  
Pairing: slight mention of Ukitake/Shunsui  
Author's Note 1: Thanks oodles to marrionetteblue3, who did beta work on this. Thank you so muuuuch! 33 I did go back and add some paragraphs in later, so there still might be mistakes... So if you see some, it's all _my _fault!  
A/N 2: This contains spoilers for and direct references to chapters 329, 335, and 355. You might not understand some of the important points and references in the fic unless you have read and remember the dialogue in those chapters.  
A/N 3: This fic contains massive rambling speculation on character history and future events. The majority of the main ones were inspired at some point during discussion with VraieEsprit, so even though I know she doesn't read fic, I just want her to know that THIS IS ALL HER FAULT. 3

* * *

Despite popular belief in Seireitei, the Captain of the Thirteenth Division could act, could lie, and could deflect if there was a need.

He knew he appeared perfectly calm, composed, and at ease to anyone watching. Of course he did. Never let your enemy see your weakness- that was one of the first rules taught to new soldiers at the Academy, back in the beginning.

_"Two against one is unfair." __  
_  
This was true, and he did believe it. But _fuck fair_. At the moment, there was nothing he wanted more in the world than to be able to draw his zanpakutou and leap into Shunsui's fight so that the two of them could fight side by side. Sogyo no Kotowari whispered nervously in the back of his mind, wordless murmurings that betrayed their host's fear.

Then they could go save Shirou-chan. They could assist Soi Fon. They could take the injured vice-captains back to Soul Society. He wanted this battle to be done with, for everyone to be unharmed, for everyone to go back home, and for everything to be all right again. Most of all, he wanted to lie in Shunsui's arms and forget. He wanted to forget the look in Master Genryuusai's eyes.

The look that said _This is very bad _and _Something else is going on, but I will not tell you _and _I will not let them pass if _**_my _**_flesh is torn from _**_my _**_bones _as if he was afraid that it might come to that in the end.

This made Jyuushirou afraid, a fear that twisted up through his body, lurking in a headache behind his eyes, and making him hypersensitive of his surroundings. He could feel the coolness of the stone through his haori, he could feel the tiniest wisps of air that blew past the lonely column, and he could sense every parry and thrust of the battle above him.

He was a Captain of the Gotei 13, a true Captain of the Gotei 13. Without hesitation, he would give up his life to protect his home and his comrades. However, this did not mean that he wished to die. Maybe most importantly of all, he did not want these children to die.

Shirou-chan, the boy with a haunted wisdom in his eyes far beyond his years…

Rangiku, Shunsui's drinking partner and good friend, who had lost and was just retracing the steps toward love…

Izuru, who had just begun to discover who he truly was…

Hisagi, who had a light in his eyes that sometimes reminded Jyuushirou of the lost little boy he once had been…

Hinamori-chan, who should not have just found her way out of the dark tunnel into the light, only to be struck brutally down…

Soi Fon, still desperately trying to fight her way out of Yoruichi's shadow…

He did not want them to die out here. He was tired, so damned tired, of losing children before their time. He would do anything, anything, to secure their lives.

But the look in Master Genryuusai's eyes…

_What is going on, sensei? What is it that you will not tell us?_ He thinks to himself. Shunsui does not know the answer either. There was a time when they both would have known, when Master Genryuusai would have told them, not too long ago. But their sensei's trust in them had been lost. They might have been fine, but the day they had fought him was the day that Aizen had betrayed Soul Society- but he had perhaps betrayed Genryuusai most of all.

For Aizen had been his student as well. Not as close and Jyuushirou or Shunsui had been, of course- two thousand years is a long time. But Aizen had been his student all the same. Master Genryuusai had taken a shine to him from the beginning. He had been the favored pupil that rose rapidly through the ranks. He had been the bright shining pride of the Gotei 13. Though it had remained unspoken, Jyuushirou knew that Yamamoto had seen shadows of his first two pupils in Aizen's famous kindness and intelligence.

And he had betrayed them all.

So Master Genryuusai's trust in his pupils had been broken. He was not able to trust his judgment anymore. If he had been so wrong, so terribly wrong about Aizen Sousuke, then where else had his judgment failed? And Jyuushirou and Shunsui had turned against him that day, that same day. For purer reasons, yes, but they had fought against him just the same.

There was a gaping hole in Jyuushirou's heart, where the trust of his sensei had been. It twisted painfully, closing his throat and making it hard to breathe when he saw the blank look in his sensei's eyes that said _I do not trust you anymore_. Master Genryuusai had been his sensei for over two thousand years- that was a very long, long time.

_I still have Shunsui and Retsu_. He told himself. But he thought of Retsu, deep in the heart of the enemy's territory, and he thought of when he had bought the hat that Shunsui wore, a long time ago. For centuries, no one had touched that hat in battle. Graceful, powerful, beautiful Shunsui with the laughing eyes and the sly mouth, dancing out of the way of all blades and earthly touches.

_"Kyouraku is strong too." _

And he was. Shunsui was the strongest man he had ever known. But not all of the Sousuke Aizen they had known could be an act, and Jyuushirou knew that Aizen was a smart, sly man. He would never be as blunt as this; he would never have banked his victory on this simple battle. Yes, Jyuushirou had confidence that, in the end, Shunsui would win this fight. But Jyuushirou remembered Aizen's smile, and he knew that this was only the beginning. If the blonde haired child thought that she was important, she was wrong.

Jyuushirou watched his lover fight out of the corner of his eye, and he was afraid.

_"I'm praying that doesn't happen."_


End file.
